The documents checklist for aging parents

The short answer: the five documents that matter most are a durable power of attorney for finances, a health care proxy, an advance directive, written permission for doctors to talk to you, and a will. After those, gather the information you'd need in an emergency: insurance cards, the medication list, doctors' numbers and where the accounts are. Then make sure at least one other person knows where everything is.

Most families haven't done this yet. In a 2025 national survey, 38% of caregivers said the person they care for had no plans in place, and another 19% weren't sure.¹ If that's you, you're in good company, and this list will get you most of the way.

1. Legal documents that let someone act for your parent

• ☐ Durable power of attorney for finances. Names someone to make money decisions when your parent can't.² The government has free guides for the person named, on how to do the job well.¹¹
• ☐ Health care proxy (also called a medical power of attorney). Names the person who makes health care decisions if your parent can't communicate them.²
• ☐ Advance directive or living will. Your parent's own instructions for medical care, used only if they can't speak for themselves. Without one, state law decides who can make medical decisions.³ You don't need a lawyer for this one: most states offer the forms for free.³¹⁰
• ☐ Permission for doctors to talk with you (often called a HIPAA authorization). This is different from naming a health care proxy, and it's worth having both.² Under HIPAA, a person named in a health care power of attorney counts as your parent's personal representative.⁴
• ☐ Medicare's own permission form (CMS-10106). Medicare only talks to family about your parent if your parent has given permission in writing. It's a one-page form, or it can be done online in their Medicare account.⁵
• ☐ POLST or MOLST form, only if your parent is seriously ill or near the end of life. These are medical orders emergency crews can act on right away.³
• ☐ Out-of-hospital do-not-resuscitate (DNR) order, if that's your parent's wish.³
• ☐ Will, and a living trust if they have one. Without a will, state law decides who gets what.²

A common surprise: a power of attorney does not let you manage your parent's Social Security payments. To do that, you have to apply to Social Security to become their "representative payee."⁶ Your parent can also name up to three people in advance who could serve as payee if it's ever needed.⁶

2. Health information

• ☐ Medicare card. The Medicare number on it isn't their Social Security number, but protect it like a credit card.⁷
• ☐ Other insurance cards: supplemental, drug plan or Medicare Advantage, and dental or vision.²
• ☐ Current medication list, with doses and the pharmacy. Update it every time something changes.²
• ☐ Doctors and key contacts: names and phone numbers for doctors, close friends and relatives, the lawyer and any financial advisor.²
• ☐ Long-term care insurance policy, if there is one, with the policy number and agent.²

3. Money and property

• ☐ Bank and credit union accounts. Note where each account is. You don't need to write full account numbers anywhere that's shared.²
• ☐ Income sources: pension, Social Security, IRAs and 401(k)s.²
• ☐ Bills and debts, and how and when each one gets paid.²
• ☐ Most recent tax return.²
• ☐ Deed or mortgage papers for the home, and the car title.²
• ☐ Insurance policies (life, home and car), with policy numbers and agents' phone numbers.²
• ☐ Safe deposit box: where it is and where the key is. Keep copies of what's inside at home.²

4. Personal records

• ☐ Birth certificate, plus marriage, divorce and citizenship papers.²
• ☐ Social Security information.²
• ☐ Military discharge papers (DD-214), if your parent served. Veterans and their next of kin can get copies free from the National Archives. Some companies charge for this, so skip them.⁸

5. Final wishes

• ☐ Funeral and burial wishes, written down, with copies for family.² Under federal rules, funeral homes have to give you a price list to keep, and you only pay for what you choose.⁹
• ☐ Organ donation choice. This can be registered when renewing a driver's license or state ID.²

How to actually get this done

1. Start with the conversation. Talking with the doctor about advance care planning is free through Medicare at the annual wellness visit.²
2. Use free forms where you can. States provide free advance directive forms, and the American Bar Association links to them.¹⁰
3. Get help for the rest. For the power of attorney, will and trust, an elder law attorney is worth it. Ask your local bar association about free legal aid if cost is a worry.²
4. Tell someone where everything is. The papers don't help if no one can find them.²
5. Review it once a year, and after any big change such as a move, a diagnosis or a death in the family.²

Common questions

What if my parent can no longer make their own decisions?

Then documents like a power of attorney may no longer be possible to sign, and state law decides who can make medical decisions.³ Talk with an elder law attorney soon about the options in your state.

Do we need a lawyer for all of this?

Not for everything. A lawyer can help with an advance directive but isn't required.³ For a power of attorney, will or trust, a lawyer is the safer route.

Where should we keep the originals?

Somewhere safe that at least two people can get to, with copies or scans the rest of the family can see. If originals are in a safe deposit box, keep copies at home.²

Who should get a copy of the health care proxy?

Your parent's doctors, the person named, and any backup. Bring a copy to hospital visits.

Sources

1. AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving, "Caregiving in the US 2025". aarp.org, July 24, 2025.
2. National Institute on Aging, "Getting Your Affairs in Order Checklist: Documents to Prepare for the Future". nia.nih.gov, reviewed February 1, 2023.
3. National Institute on Aging, "Advance Care Planning: Advance Directives for Health Care". nia.nih.gov, October 31, 2022.
4. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, "Personal Representatives" (HIPAA). hhs.gov, reviewed November 2, 2020.
5. Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, form CMS-10106, "Authorization to Disclose Personal Health Information". cms.gov, revised March 2026.
6. Social Security Administration, "FAQs for Representative Payees". ssa.gov.
7. Medicare.gov, "Your Medicare card". medicare.gov.
8. National Archives, "Request Military Service Records". archives.gov.
9. Federal Trade Commission, "The FTC Funeral Rule". consumer.ftc.gov.
10. American Bar Association Commission on Law and Aging, "Health Care Decision-Making" (free state forms and tool kit). americanbar.org.
11. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, "Managing Someone Else's Money". consumerfinance.gov.